Corissa – Otosclerosis thriver

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My name is Corissa JH Dorethy, I’m 46 years old. I was born and raised in Fremont, California. So the Bay area has always been my home.

I’m hearing disabled. I’m legally deaf in the right ear due to otosclerosis.
Otosclerosis is a condition where abnormal bone growth occurs in the middle ear, specifically around the stapes bone, which can lead to hearing loss. This growth prevents the stapes from vibrating properly in response to sound waves, hindering the transmission of sound to the inner ear. The cause is unknown, but it is very common in young adult white females. Some say it is autoimmune-related. But my condition was accelerated they say due to pregnancy hormones.

I discovered or first noticed my hearing loss when I returned from maternity leave and I was at work trying to answer my desk phone and realized I couldn’t hear the person on the other end. I switched ears to check the phone. I could then hear. So I went to the doctor. See my age, gender and saying I was pregnant recently – they knew immediately what to test for. (as that is a common trigger). The test is done with a tuning fork to test bone conductive hearing. Then confirmed with a Cat Scan. I could hear high pitch sounds better than low pitch sounds. I thought, oh I can manage- but it kept getting worse and then the doctor told me that if I didnt stimulate the nerve in my ear, my brain could lose its ability to understand words. So then I knew I had to get the surgery. (Standard hearing aids wouldn’t work as well for my type of hearing loss) I had two surgeries, one put in a implant for a BAHA (bone anchored hearing device) Mine is connected by magnets, and I am now essentially a cyborg.

The second surgery I had about 5 years later was a stapedectomy, where they hollow out the bone growth and replace the stapes bones with a prosthesis. That surgery took longer to recover from and has many more adverse side effects/dangers. I lost some of the sensation in my tongue and the ability to taste some. Which is the lesser of the bad results, luckily. My left ear still has Otosclerosis it is just progressing at a slower rate, but I was told eventually I would have to have surgery on that side as well. Not wanting to speed up that process is why I decided not to have a second child. Which was a hard choice to make. I have had to learn to use technology and be adaptive with my new hearing loss. Living most of my life without a disability and being used to hearing has been a challenge. But I am constantly trying to learn new things thru this journey.

What inspired you to be involved in the Underwater Transformation Project?

I have always admired Erena’s project since I heard about it. But I grew really fascinated by it even more after joining my sister and observing her session and hearing her experience. It seemed like such a healing, centering, self-discovery and beautiful process. Knowing how water has always affected me thru my life and what it means to me, I was incredibly curious how my involvement in this process would feel. I really looked forward to being apart of it. I knew my disability was different than my sister and her being a cancer survivor. But I also liked the idea that we will have this shared experience.

What were your goals for the photo shoot?

I remember as a child I would love swimming and playing underwater. I always felt my hair looked beautiful down there. Like a serene pretty mermaid and I always wish I could capture what I felt I looked like. I remember seeing my friends underwater as a kid when we played and thinking how they always looked magical, I love the way their hair moved and how the like played with the movement of the water. Ireally wanted to be in photos that captured that. Of course as a kid I did not have that sort of technology.. So I was sort of expecting to see that memory of childhood come to life.

How was the experience with an underwater portrait session?

Swimming for hours when I am already out of shape was not as hard as I thought, especially when It all started to feel playful. But what I did find difficult was Trying to remember all the instructions and rules like: no puffer face, adjust your hair under water, point your toes, don’t squint your eyes closed so hard. Stay submerged longer. Avoid air bubbles, elongate your neck, move slower All while making sure you don’t drown. I would remember one thing or two, but then forget the others. I just really wanted to get a flattering photo. I wanted to do a good job for Erena and her artwork. So, many of the difficulties were of my own design. Some of my clothes were too bug and started falling off during swimming. Or I would get so nervous I would forget the rules or hurry and go too fast instead of allowing myself to enjoy the process. I think once I did start to have fun and it felt playful, things got a lot easier. Diving and going in at an angle and the yelling, were actions that I feel helped me let go and get back in touch with how I felt playing underwater before. Things got a lot better for me once we did that. I found I could find the bottom of the pool and smile and open my eyes and look around and enjoy what I was doing. Sound was lovely for me in the water. It was one thing I allowed for me to focus on. I really wanted to experience the sound and how it moved in the water. Since it was my hearing loss and disability that afforded me this opportunity. I wanted to make sure it was on my mind as we did the session.

How was your mood after you finished?

I was tired, that is for sure. But Erena reminded me, we were basically swimming for a few hours. So, that made sense. I was a little worried, I didn’t do well and Erena would be disappointed in the photos she got. But more importantly, I felt a nostalgic feeling that reminded me of when I was a child and played all day with my friends in the pool. Carefree, Whimsical and childlike. I felt like I tapped into a part of me I hadn’t seen or felt in awhile. I think the nature of the activity unlocked that… I really focused on that when I was driving home and for the rest of the day. Letting the anxious and worry feeling I mentioned having at first away and focusing on that. There is a feeling you get underwater when playing, that is discovery and really introspective that I cant explain.

What does WATER mean to you?

Water has always been an interesting source of influence for me. It has held 2 sides of very strong emotions for me. On one hand it has always been a calming peaceful influence on me. I will often sit in running water to destress myself or to meditate. But on the flip side- Two of my greatest phobias are also water related. So, I have always considered that a very conflicting/interesting dynamic for me.
When I lost my hearing I found myself wanting to try and be underwater to “hear” as sound travels differently in water.

Do you think this experience could help overcome your trauma?

It certainly helped approach and look at my trauma in a different way. It reminded me that through the process I had to learn to adapt and move with the difficulties the disability brought to me. Just like the process wasn’t easy and I was nervous , I knew I was adaptable, and how water adapts… that it was all somehow a reflection of the of it all. I felt like it was showing me my journey thru another point of view , and that was powerful. I think this really helps, what you see, and think and feel when you are under the water, is surprising, and unexpected. I went in not sure what it would envoke or bring out it in me, and was surprised in what I felt. I am so grateful for it. Lots of inner reflection.

I would 100% go back into the water for another shoot again. I would love to try new things and capture more. The screaming part was more playful and felt more genuine and by the time I felt I was getting more comfortable, I was also getting tired. I would love the opportunity to try what I learned with a fresh start and energy and see what comes from it. A storytelling or atypical results.
Water to be is both a sense of tranquility and danger.

How did you sleep the night of the photo shoot?

I slept incredibly the night after the session. As someone who suffers a great deal from tinnitus and insomnia, this did not go on noticed by me. It was a grateful experience. I sleep so soundly…totally restful.

How was Erena working with you?

Erena was great. Kind , patient and encouraging. I wish if I was doing poorly or was frustrating her she would speak up and tell me. Because I was so worried I was doing badly and she was too nice to tell me. I so didn’t want to waste her time or let her down. Because I really admire her and her artist work.
So if you ever have a vision, or wanted a special look, let me know, or the subject know.. I know I was totally willing to try and meet the artist to match their vision. I wanted to do you proud.

Thanks Erena for the chance to work with you. I really liked catching up and being apart of this process. I hope these answers weren’t too rambling. I have a hard time putting into words what I felt. But it was a really great experience. I almost feel it was a practice round haha I could do better next time.

She offered her weights, had really amazing tips and videos to help you prepare and showed the screenfinder as we were going of images, that was helping relieve my anxiety. Showing that we were getting photos. Erena is very professional and a serene and calming influence on the entire process. She really has an eye for light, reflection and how things move in water.

The screaming shots I felt came easier for me. Which was surprising. Because my worry about breathing. Opening my mouth so wide under water , that worry went away. I felt more like me. I felt expressive and like it was natural for me. My rage at losing my hearing was channeled thru to that . I joked how maybe I wasn’t the serene beautiful mermaid, instead maybe I was the Vivid Siren instead. I think the screaming shots, helped me relax and be more me, I did feel like I could stay under water and emote better after that.

What do you want to tell the world about your disability?

I wanted to share a bit more about my experience and what I’ve learned about living with hearing loss.

I’ve found it challenging when people in public misinterpret my hearing loss as rudeness, especially since many assume I’m too young for standard hearing loss and don’t have a “stereotypical” voice associated with being deaf. To help avoid these misunderstandings, I’ve taken a few steps, including getting a tattoo behind my ear, wearing pins, and even having a custom sign on my desk. Adapting to this new normal after taking my hearing for granted has been difficult, but subtitles, closed captions, and accommodations have become essential for me. This journey has also made me a stronger advocate for ADA compliance in my professional field, recognizing its immense value to users in everyday life.

When communicating with me, speaking louder and facing me directly is always preferred. I didn’t realize how much I relied on lip-reading until I experienced hearing loss, and the widespread use of masks during COVID-19 made this even more apparent.

Finally, I hope more people become aware of Otosclerosis. It’s common in young adult women, even without pregnancy, and can be genetic. It’s crucial not to ignore it or think you can just “make do.” A doctor once informed me that not stimulating the nerve in your brain can lead to losing the ability to understand words, not just hear them, which was a truly eye-opening and frightening realization for me.