Miriam – Childhood trauma thriver

«« Please drag the arrows to see before & after underwater transformation »»

My name is Miriam Macip, and I am 34 years old. I was born in San Quintín, Baja California, Mexico, and grew up moving around Mexico every two years before eventually settling in Orange County and Los Angeles, California.
I am a conflict strategist for couples, helping them articulate their feelings, needs, and boundaries assertively using non-violent communication. I consider myself a strategist because I assist couples in discovering more effective ways to fulfill their needs when their current approaches fall short.

I practice MMA, Muay Thai, and Jiujitsu daily, as it makes me feel alive. I also create content that merges my passion for fighting with insights on how to avoid conflict.

I experienced a childhood marked by instability, frequent violence, neglect, and emotional abuse. Fortunately, I often found solace at my grandparents’ house, and those relationships provided guidance even from a distance. They gave me direction, and I turned to books and education as a means to escape my reality and hope for a better future.

My mother was emotionally abusive and relentlessly pressured my father to take his own life, which he eventually did in front of her. She was not well before this, but afterward, her condition worsened. I was able to stay with my grandparents for a while, but we soon moved again, this time to Mexico City.

I then attended a boarding school and secured a scholarship to a high school in Orange County. Through my grandfather’s connections, a kind family took me in, showing me what a healthy family environment could be.

Later, I married a man who, in retrospect, resembled my mother in his subtle narcissistic tendencies. As before, I delved into psychology and assertiveness, realizing that my struggles stemmed from a lack of clear boundaries and assertiveness. I believed I was assertive, but I was actually engaged in a “who is right” game, which often results in a winner and a loser, where one person submits to the other—this is not true assertiveness but rather blurred boundaries. As I began applying what I learned, I felt empowered to make choices aligned with my values, and I happily divorced him. This experience solidified my commitment to formally studying psychology.

How did you discover Muay Thai and MMA?

My father introduced me to training when I was young. When I found myself in a draining marriage, I decided to rediscover what made me feel alive, and martial arts was one of those things. I joined a Krav Maga school and instantly fell in love. It gave me a renewed sense of confidence that helped me stand my ground through the divorce. Soon after, I moved to Los Angeles, drawn by the idea of fighting professionally, and began taking on stunt and fitness modeling gigs. It was there that I met my now-husband, the love of my life. Stunt training felt incredibly real and empowering.

When COVID-19 hit, we moved to Spain for a brief period, but returned to San Diego as life there didn’t align with our goals. We focused on building our life, and I continued strength training at home while dedicating myself to my coaching business, teaching assertiveness and non-violent communication. However, when my youngest daughter was one month old, she contracted RSV, and we spent a week in the hospital. The shock of seeing my baby intubated and unable to feed led to a severe depression that was incredibly hard to overcome, especially with my other daughters needing care. My husband suggested I join a local MMA, Muay Thai, and Jiujitsu gym. He drove me at first, but it’s a sport where you must move or you’ll get hit, which definitely got me back on my feet when I needed it most. Since then, I’ve realized that fighting is what keeps me alive—not just surviving, but thriving. I don’t miss a day; it’s my medicine.

What (or who) inspired you to be involved in the Underwater Transformation Project?

Liz Carmouche has been a significant inspiration for me, and she shared the Underwater Transformation Project and its concept with me. I am truly honored to be a part of it. My career in mental health is deeply driven by projects that acknowledge the pain we endure and highlight human resilience.

What were your goals for the photo shoot?

I love the inherent beauty of underwater photography and wanted to use it to showcase how this journey has transformed both my mind and body. My goals for the shoot were to portray the beauty of my sport, the vulnerability of my love, and the healing I’ve found in a loving relationship that embraces me as I am, without attempting to change or control me—my safe place. I believe I was able to portray exactly that.

How was the experience with an underwater portrait session?

It was more challenging than I anticipated, but I absolutely loved it. To ensure my muscles appeared to be in motion, I had to actively perform movements while simultaneously resisting the water’s tendency to lift me and alter my posture.

How was your mood after you finished? 

I felt energized and fulfilled. I believe I successfully conveyed what I intended to express.

What does WATER mean to you?

Water signifies life to me. Alongside sleep, it is what I prioritize most. As an athlete, I deeply value it. I swim in the ocean weekly, and it serves as my moment to recharge.

Do you think this experience could help overcome your trauma?

Yes! I believe everything we do contributes to our self-concept, and every action communicates something. To see myself in beautiful underwater images, looking strong instead of the vulnerable child or lost wife I once was, feels profoundly renewing. It brings a sense of completeness to my journey, and I am truly happy to witness my evolution. I would absolutely do another underwater photoshoot.

How did you sleep the night of the photo shoot?

Oh, I was definitely tired, haha! It was a unique kind of workout. I typically either swim or fight, so combining both felt incredible, and my body felt much better for it.

How was Erena working with you?

Erena was an excellent guide. Knowing what I wanted to express is one thing, but translating that into motion and an image is another. She helped me immensely by providing direction, suggesting whether things looked better sideways or head-on, and even encouraging me to feel more free in my expression. The results were exactly what I wanted to convey, even though I didn’t initially know precisely how I wanted it to look, if that makes sense. She definitely knows her craft.

What’s your dream?

My dream is to help women and children in any way I can. I understand the profound impact that certain relationships have had on me. I also know how assertiveness and non-violent communication have transformed me and the quality of my relationships. However, I also recognize that some people disregard boundaries or needs, and the ability to protect oneself and one’s children has given me an essential layer of empowerment, bolstering my confidence in my words. Therefore, my mission is to help people create better homes and build healthier relationships where partners are each other’s safe haven, supporting one another to achieve their dream lives and together providing their children with a secure home. I plan to develop tools to make this a reality, so people can practice their communication skills with the same dedication I apply to my daily combos. I aspire to equip most of humanity with these skills, making assertiveness and non-violent communication the norm rather than combativeness.

https://commandermimi.com/