Dena – Domestic Violence Survivor

«« Please drag the arrows to see before & after underwater transformation »»

My name is Dena Marshall. I am 52 years old, born in Minneapolis, Minnesota and grew up on a small farm in Selkirk, New York. Since 2004, Portland, Oregon has been my home.

My family transacted in yelling as a cultural value, and as a young girl I found solace in the barn with the animals or running the deer trails that led to the river. Rape and sexual assault showed up early in my life and took a toehold for a long time, but I didn’t know to give it a name. Only after working as a domestic violence advocate in my 20’s, I started to see myself in the women I was serving and I began to understand how violence also shaped my life. But even as I pursued degrees, raised daughters, married and divorced, built a career and protected my independence, many of those old shadows are still crystal clear. They will always shade my worldview. But instead of letting those dark things enshroud me, I open up to my own limitless capabilities and I introduce my daughters to their own stunning internal beauty and strength that no one can ever, ever take away.

What inspired you and why did you want to be involved in the Underwater Transformation Project?

The invitation came as a surprise. I wasn’t sure my story would fit this project because I never considered myself a domestic violence survivor. But maybe this is part of the transformation that happens underwater? For the first time in my life, I am invited to tell this story and to see myself in pictures surrounded by the thing I love, water. And in hearing myself and seeing myself, I start to see it all differently.

What were your goals for the photo shoot?

I was torn between wanting to tell the WaterStrong story (which I feel very open and comfortable with) and wanting to tell my story (which I am cautious with). By the time I settled into the underwater photo session and my eyes couldn’t take another minute of chlorine, the water was sending me to the right place.

The day before the shoot, I dug out my wedding dress from a cardboard box in the back of the closet and tried it on. No surprise, its zipper got stuck – but the symbolism of outgrowing my old self sticks in my mind. I wonder how it would look underwater?

How was the experience of an underwater portrait session?

Being in water has always felt comfortable and easy, but for some reason that day I struggled with breath. I just couldn’t empty the lungs as deeply as I wanted to go.

How was your mood after you finished?

I was uncertain and curious. The portrait sitting felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity and I wanted to do the session well.

What does WATER mean to you?

WATER means life, power, love. I care for the water and I know the water cares for me. It wants me to thrive.

Do you think this experience could help people with trauma?

Absolutely. Every person has their own relationship with water, and it’s not always a positive nurturing one. Sometimes, just dangling my feet in the water or cupping a handful of water and blowing bubbles into my hands is enough to feel a connection. My tips would be to breathe, let yourself sink down a little, let the water hold you in its own way, and look around.

Would you go back to the water to do a photo shoot again?

I would love to go back and try this again. Maybe with a storyline? I’d like to improve my lung-emptying, try the wedding dress concept, and play with more scarves.

How did you sleep the night of the photo shoot?

I slept well, but was preoccupied with little things like outfits, makeup and a hairbrush, and embarrassed to be running late that morning.

How was Erena working with you?

Erena was wonderful. She was kind, patient, thoughtful and was clearly having a good time! That made all the difference. She encouraged me to do whatever felt natural and good in and out of the water. I enjoyed picking out outfits with her, sending selfies before the shoot, and not knowing what to expect, was curious to see me through her eyes.

What’s your dream?

I am living my dream now with WaterStrong. There’s no end to what I can do with it and the impacts we can have together. My advice is to fall in love with the water. Take care of the water and each other, and the water will take care of all of us.

I started WaterStrong as a vehicle for families to reconnect with the water, understand it, and build the basic skills to survive in and around the water. I want to build a generation of competent swimmers and connected water stewards.

When I founded WaterStrong in 2016, a lot of different storylines went into its creation. One was a tragic drowning in 2014 at a lake where I often swim, taking 4 members of a single family – each one trying to save the other. One, which I don’t tell often, is I needed a vehicle to get away and to protect my daughters. They joined me on global WaterStrong programs, engaging with other kids in the water in places they’d never been, learning together, feeling free and open and playful. Together we grew stronger. When COVID hit and the global programs closed, I brought it all back to Oregon and kept the girls engaged, learning CPR, leading groups, teaching swimming. I discovered every dynamic that showed up in other countries also plays out here in my own backyard. Every barrier, every “ism”, every safety concern, every threat to clean water, and every brilliant moment when a person learns to float alone, unassisted and breathing easy. That shift into calm, strength and independence is a magical thing to witness.

Now, with WaterStrong I’m financially poorer than I’ve ever been; I am busier and more intellectually stretched than I’ve ever been. All the trappings of stability are gone. And yet it feels solid, focused and energizing.

WaterStrong is the roots of my own freedom and strength. But why I’m doing it isn’t about me – it’s about building a generation of humans who engage with the water differently, in empowering ways. I am creating safe space for someone else to build her own relationship with the water and herself, maybe work through her own trauma. Maybe come away transformed.

I want to tell the world to stay together. Don’t fall apart. I also want to tell the world about the 6 Hearts, which I came to know well through relationships.

We don’t have one heart; we have six hearts. The Maker Heart resides in the hands, guiding how we work in the world – through careers, hobbies, and how we make the world a better place. The Intellect Heart resides in the mind, guiding our sense of rationality and logic. The Lovingkindness Heart resides in the heart, guiding our sense of what it means to care for and to be cared for. The Safety Heart resides in the belly and gut, guiding our sense of physical safety and danger. The Drive Heart resides in the pelvis, guiding our sense of passion, want and competitiveness. The Rooted / Wayfinder Heart resides in the feet, guiding our sense of cultural identity, navigation through the socio-political world. And then there’s Convention, possibly the 7th Heart. Convention is the reality of things. Convention guides our wisdom to choose our actions, informed by all six hearts and the elemental all-encompassing need to survive in this world right now.

Each Heart lights up in every relationship – with romantic partners, friends, work colleagues, social situations and with nature. They illuminate or light up, differently depending on the situation. For example, if I am with a very attractive person and I am energized to get close to that person, my Drive Heart lights up “Full speed ahead, game on!” But if that person has a violent temper, my Safety Heart sends out a sharp warning “Danger! Beware.” And if I can’t carry a conversation with that person my Intellect Heart dulls down “Nothing to see here, move along.” But if that person is also in my line of work, the Maker Heart glows “we have so much in common, we do the same things.” And if the person has a similar cultural background, the Wayfinder Heart warms up “we speak the same language, that person knows where I’m coming from.” Listen to each heart, hear what it’s saying.

I’ve learned a lot from these hearts. It’s not always easy but it’s possible to feel when a heart warms up, or goes cold, or sends a shock.